12 May 2007 02:07 pm
I'm a deep sleeper. A number of things that I have slept through are:
- a hurricane.
- a gas leak.
- an earthquake.
- drunken people attacking my door at 4 in the morning
- a dog licking my face and smacking me around
- a cat scratching my face and smacking me around
- my AP Biology test. (well not so much "through" as "at one point, I put my head down and took a nap, then woke up and finished" but still; I got awesome grades on it, so I just want to brag about it here)
- the JFK assasination (ok, this one might not be true)
... I'm starting to sense a pattern here. And that is that people really like to screw with me when I'm asleep. I mean, I've got mother nature, society, technology, the animal kingdom... Hell, even academia is being represented here. I'm starting to think that whenever my eyelids start to weigh heavy upon my eyes that everyone around me just starts grinning in anticipation.
And I can't exactly stop them. I mean, I've never been a very good sleepwalker... mainly because I've never been a really good "walker" in general. And the only time that I've woken up with a knife in my hand covered in red stuff was when I fell asleep making a sandwich. A sandwich that was apparently stolen from me. And then had the ketchupy contents of it spilled all over me.
It's really getting out of hand when not only does the entire universe seem to threaten my life when I'm asleep, but now they're taking my food!? I have to think of some kind of self-defense against these atroctities.
So that, ladies and gentleman, is why I still wet the bed.